Spring Training is upon us, thank goodness, and there is baseball to be seen. MLB.tv is in full swing and might be the greatest technological advancement of all time until Google starts augmenting reality and we begin living in a real-life science fiction movie (happening). Anyone can see any team from anywhere. It’s wonderful to see live baseball, poorly timed swings, and poorly chosen facial hair (here, for example). The real fun comes in the sheer NUMBER of players involved in this magical time of year. Sure, the games are therefore often mismatched in terms of competition and sure, some games end in ties (which is gross, but understandable). But as someone who prides myself on having a widespread knowledge of the most intimately useless knowledge of baseball, Spring Training always serves as a magical time to discover some truly obscure players and some stupendous names. You might not have had the time to look over the spring training rosters, so I did (thanks, wikipedia!) and culled the best and oddest names I came across, limiting the search for Non-Roster invitees only for the sake of rarity. Sorry L.J. Hoes – you have my favorite name of the spring, but you’re a 40-man roster man. Without further ado, some of the most interesting non-roster invitees of the spring:
Gary Sánchez C NYY
Though NOT affiliated with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay in ANY way, the name warranted inclusion. He’s actually a solid prospect.
Slade Heathcott OF NYY
Do you know any non-fictional person named Slade? Exactly.
Matt Buschmann SP TB
I’m more of a Coors man, myself.
Brock Bond IF SF
Simply an awesome baseball name. Sounds like one a video game would generate.
Kevin Quackenbush P SD
You are welcome.
J. B. Shuck OF LAA
Oddly, speaks fluent jive…
Kyle Knudson & Dan Rohlfing C MIN
Great names. More to the point, great MLB catcher names.
Adam Weisenburger C MIL
Made me think of this (one of my favorite scenes ever).
Nick Struck P CHC
I await the day where we can see N. Struck and J. Outman in a boxscore.
Wirfin Obispo P ATL
Considering naming my first-born Wirfin.
Yangervis Solarte IF TEX
From the club that gives you Elvis…
Sugar Ray Marimon P KC
Can’t decide between jokes here. I just wanna fly? Something about frosted tips?
BAKER’S DOZEN DOUBLE BONUS!!!
Josh Booty (yes, him) Knuckleballer ARZ
Heh, booty. Booty-Booty-Booty-Booty Kunckin’ everywhere? Anyone?