Tag Archives: MATH!

Fantasy Mustache: Catchers

Comeback Mustache of the Year

Martin is not impressed.

Before he went to the Yankees, I was a big Russell Martin fan.  An athletic catcher, he both threw and ran well, leading to some of my favorite in-game scenarios where he would both throw someone out bunting then bunt himself and beat it out (doesn’t that just always seems extra, extra awesome for a catcher?).  He was bad for the Yankees.  His homer total was inflated, as would a four-year old’s, by Yankee Stadium Redux so, statistically, and as catchers go, I suppose he was serviceable.  I happen to think he’s a better player.

Here are Bill James’ projections for My favorite Martin in 2013:

//112 hits// 22 2B // 16 HR // 64 R // 60 RBI // 8 SB // .242 AVG //

Leading to a deep “MEH,” from all concerned.  Where is the fleet of foot Martin, the .280 -. 300 hitter Martin?  Who is this manicured man?!

Martin is in obvious need of a mustache makeover (tv rights pending on that one, folks).  I understand that players deteriorate over time blah blah blah but this guy was pretty nifty not even 5 years ago!  So I fired up the math machines and the facial composite sketchers andWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!!?

BOOM.

Russ beat me to it!  He is obviously not only a ballplayer, but has a keen understanding of the mysticism of the mustache.  Let us reconsider his projections, now knowing he has reconsidered his look.  I’ll bet Mr. Bill James doesn’t have a way of computing mustache value-added, but I sure do:

//177 hits// 30 2B // 19 HR // 88 R // 77 RBI // 22 SB // .333 AVG // PLUS 4 TRIPLES!

As you can see, Russell got his groove back.  Freed from the shackles of the hair-hating Yankees, Martin can be himself once more.  With his smoothly Gatsby-esque new fur, Martin will undoubtedly make the leap to an upper-class season.  Just look at that careful constructed cookie-duster.  He will regain not only his stroke but his deceptive quickness.  Again, I point you to the devious flavor saver.  Is that not the look of a man capable of swiping double-digit bases?  Is that not the look of a man who will find clever means to get on base?  Is that not the look of a man who would make an excellent addition to your barbershop quartet (alto, duh)?  Of COURSE it is, that is a mustache of confidence, a mustache of class – a mustache of redemption. 

Martin is poised, nay groomed,  for a better 2013.  And he knows it is due to his upper lip.  That is the smile of a man who knows the future is out there, a single green light, if you will, and Martin is ready to take it… even if it’s in Pittsburgh and not West Egg.

If you don’t get the reference, that’s okay.  There’s a movie coming out soon.

Tomorrow I’ll tackle the mustache sleepers.  If Russell Martin is any indication, the future is bright for potentially moustachioed ballplayers.

Stay groomed,

-v

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A Gritty MLB Reboot (Part 3 of 3): The Epic Conclusion

 

 

 

 

Here it is, the moment you’ve eagerly anticipated… PART THREE!  Calm your bones, kemosabe.  The conclusion to my epic rant can also be seen here [ECBS], at the Emerson College Sports Business Society Blog.  Tell your friends about this blog!  I’d love to see double digit views…. once…. ever…. though, to be fair, if you are reading this blog, you must be AWFULLY bored.  Enjoy.

 

 

She blinded me with science! Ad by 'she,' I mean my laptop....

The growing trend in baseball and all of sports is a focus on the mathematics and science behind it.  From medicine, to recording, to broadcasting the technological advances of our lifetimes are revolutionizing the way we play and consume sports.  Metrics and measurements are quantifying things as mundane as a receiver’s overall reach (Calvin Johnson allegedly has the reach the same cubic measurement  of a 2-car garage.  It is the ironies of ironies that baseball is currently riding the wave of interest caused by Brad Pitt aka Billy Beane, sabermetrics, and Moneyball.  While baseball has readily welcomed the math and science to study the game, the game has stubbornly refused to accept the incredible technological power before them.  Replay has been integrated beautifully into football and basketball.  Hockey has used advanced cameras for years.  Baseball, if they cooperated, funded and guided science, could have solutions to everything from strike zones to out and safe calls.  I am not calling for a erasing of the human element, just an integration of the relevant technologies to make the game more interesting.  The key to successfully remaking, reimagining or re-branding is acknowledging the past while incorporating the future.

Redesigning the league as I described relates to an overarching, re-branding strategy.  Upon closer inspection, some redesigning could go on in the parks themselves too.  Infusing the competitive landscape with a dash of creativity makes sense for the brand of MLB.  Infusing the individual competitive landscapes (i.e. the stadiums) with some of that same creativity is a logical extension.  That technology I spoke of before?  It’s everywhere.  Including architechture.  Baseball teams used to have weird stadiums catered towards the build of their team.  I want more odd dimensions (Polo Grounds), more hills in centerfield (Houston), and more 37 foot walls in odd places.  Stadiums give the teams themselves personality, not to mention advantages if done right.  Some of the new stadiums do a great job of creating an engaging atmosphere (Baltimore’s Camden Yards comes to mind).  Others waste serious potential (The Nationals’ stadium has a slew of design oversights, not the least of which is it misses an obvious opportunity for an amazing view of our capitol city- same stadium, different orientation means same dimensions with a different view.  Not rocket science.).  Where is all the money going into the new ballparks if not into a little creative, competitive advantage?  Astroturf is one of those technological ‘innovations’ making baseball wary of change.  I’m not suggesting odd field surfaces, but the oddities of the teams’ cities and stadiums used to give the teams character.

Baseball could use more characters.  A rogues gallery.  From the front office to the utility men, some oddballs and amusing characters could spice up the MLB landscape.  Baseball needs to let its creative juices flow.  As the media seems to be telling us at every turn, from fashion to film, sometimes old is new, which is cool.  In the interest of making money and reigniting interest, I suggest baseball gets on board with the rebooting trend.

Thank you to any brave soul who read through all my musings.  I appreciate it.  We here at DotP cherish each and every one of our readers, or some BS Lifetime channel crap.  Tell your friends.  Tell your family.  Tell the people trying to do work int he library.

 

As always, FOLLOW ME! FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!

 

-w

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Baseball, Cajones, GOOSE, JUAN URIBE, MLB, offseason, Opinion, Posted, Random Thoughts